i brokedown

*beep* *beep* *beep*
the alarm rang
it was 6 o'clock AM
my husband have to wake up for his LSCN test today
i force myself to sleep again cause it is too early for me to wake up since i am on afternoon duty today
but somehow,
i was breathing very hard and fast
then
without me knowing
my tears were flowing endlessly from my eyes
from whimpering to sobbing to crying out loud uncontrollably
i cannot help myself
thinking tat i cannot go to oman
i cannot resign in order to keep my maternity benefits
i do not hav a choice for 12 hr shift conversion
i have to stay in the same hospital
same stressful country
working under unsympathetic managers
sigh..
i am helpless and hopeless....
sob sob sob